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Ghosting is a cruel way of breaking off a relationship. The person disappears without explanation and never gives any more news. It's a difficult time to go through when you've spent days, weeks or even months seducing, exchanging, dating or maintaining a real relationship. Instinctively, when someone disappears off the radar, we tend to flood them with messages in the hope of getting a response and understanding why. This is far from the best way to go about things. Here are 5 things to do when you've been ghosted to help you deal with the situation.
1- Don't send tons of messages compulsively
It's true that when someone ghosts you, it's unbearable not knowing why. Just when everything was going well and you were heading for a great relationship, the person doesn't give you any more news. The first instinct is to send messages, both on the phone and on social networks. To tell the truth, this is pointless and the person you're talking to is more likely to remain silent.
While it may seem logical to send at least one message to ask why the person has ended the relationship, you absolutely must refrain from inundating them with messages afterwards. If the person wants to explain or see you again, they will do so. If they don't, it's probably because they weren't worth it.
2- Tell your friends
Rather than sending numerous messages to the person ghosting you, it's better to talk about it with your friends. As we all know, friends always have a sympathetic ear and can give good advice.
The exchanges will help you to take stock of things, to get a better idea of the person's personality and perhaps to say to yourself that, in the end, things could only end this way.
3- Don't make yourself feel guilty
It's a big problem when you're ghosted: you tend to think it's your fault, that you've done it wrong and that, in the end, you're the only one responsible for the situation.
While being ghosted can make you question your own behaviour, there's really no point in feeling too guilty. Especially if you were at the beginning of a relationship. The refusal to communicate is not your fault. And the person certainly has his or her own reasons for preferring to flee. Not knowing why certainly provokes a feeling of frustration, but you have to accept it.
If you feel deeply hurt by this sudden and unexplained rejection, take the opportunity to look at your own experience and what makes abandonment unbearable for you.
4- Step back and get on with your life
When you are a victim of ghosting, it can have a profound effect on you in the days that follow. To the point of sinking into sadness and isolation.
Not only do you need to distance yourself and not try to contact the person at all costs - you know that if they ghost you, it's because they don't want to deal with the situation - but you also need to get back to your everyday life as quickly as possible. By refocusing on work, hobbies, going out with friends and family, and so on. In short, avoid going round in circles at home and dwelling on your frustration.
5- Believe in your future relationships
There's no need to question everything. You've been ghosted, all right, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen again and again. As we said, the person has his or her own reasons (sudden fear of commitment, lack of confidence in the other person, etc.).
This episode is often difficult to accept and digest, but it in no way calls into question your ability to have a good relationship in the future. Take the time to recover, take stock, live your everyday life and when the opportunity arises, don't hesitate for a moment to believe in your chances of seducing someone for who you are.