A few tips for getting out of a toxic relationship
Not all relationships run smoothly. It's even normal for a couple to experience ups and downs. But when there's an obvious lack of trust, when you don't support each other, when communication breaks down, when you feel insecure and your self-esteem is damaged, there's a good chance you're in a toxic relationship. The important thing is to get out of this state of suffering that seems to have no end. Wondering how to get out of a toxic relationship? Here are a few tips to follow.
Surround yourself with people and ask for advice
One of the problems with a toxic relationship is that we're not always aware of it. As a result, we're surprised that the relationship isn't working well, and we maintain it despite the emotional burden it inflicts.
When you notice the signs mentioned in the introduction, don't hesitate to talk about it. Talk to family members or friends. They'll be more likely to make you understand that you're in a situation of control, and that the relationship isn't doing you any good in the end. It's essential to accept support, including that of a therapist if you feel the need.
Breaking contact and sticking to your decision
Once you have realised that you are in a toxic relationship with a partner, the best way out is to cut off contact. If you are living together, you will need to find a new place to live. In the meantime, you can take refuge with family or friends until you have a new place of your own.
The partner will then inevitably try to get in touch with you to try to get you back. Especially if you're dealing with a narcissistic pervert, who will tend to make you feel guilty about your choice, alternating between compliments and insults. Above all, don't give in to the urge to try again, telling yourself that after all, the feelings are there and it's better than being alone. You must keep your promise at all costs and cut off the dialogue. This is all the more necessary as you will already have had many opportunities to say everything you think about the other person and the relationship.
One important thing to know is that a toxic relationship cannot be transformed into a healthy one. Despite the goodwill of one or both parties, the dysfunctions will tend to reappear.
Focusing on your new objectives
When you decide to leave a toxic relationship, you have to turn over a new leaf (your own story) and focus on new goals. We tend to dwell on the past and analyse the failures of the relationship.
This is when it's important to focus on the future. This could mean setting professional goals, taking up a sporting or cultural activity that you've been thinking about for a long time, or moving to another town or region to be closer to people who are important to you and with whom you want to spend more time.
Don't jump into a new relationship too soon
We can have the unfortunate tendency to think that meeting someone new is the best way to end a toxic relationship and move on to something else. That's not true, firstly because it's rare to fall in love in the blink of an eye. Secondly, because you need to take the time to find yourself again and understand what went wrong when you had real feelings.
Once you've given yourself the time you need to think things over, things are clearer in your mind and you've made a clean break and broken contact with your ex-partner - in other words, you've made a fresh start - then you can start thinking about meeting someone again. This time for a healthy relationship.