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Ghosting is a cruel way of breaking off a relationship. The person disappears without explanation, never to be heard from again. It's a difficult moment to live through when you've spent days, weeks or even months seducing, exchanging, dating or maintaining a real relationship. Instinctively, when someone disappears off the radar, we tend to flood them with messages in the hope of getting an answer and understanding why. This is far from the best course of action. Here are 5 things to do when you've been ghosted, to help you deal with the situation.
1- Don't send tons of messages compulsively
It's true that when someone ghosts you, it's unbearable not knowing why. Just when all was going well and we were heading for a beautiful relationship, the person doesn't give us any more news. The first reflex is to send messages, both on the phone and on social networks. To tell the truth, this is pointless, and the person you're talking to is more likely to remain silent.
While it may seem logical to send at least one message asking why the person cut the relationship short, it's absolutely essential to refrain from inundating them with messages afterwards. If the person wants to explain or see you again, he or she will. If they don't, they probably weren't worth it.
2- Tell your friends
Rather than sending numerous messages to the person who's ghosting you, it's best to talk it over with your friends. Friends always have a sympathetic ear and can give good advice.
The exchanges will help you to take stock of the situation, to get a better grasp of the person's personality and perhaps to say to yourself that, in the end, things could only end this way.
3- Don't feel guilty
It's a big problem when you're ghosted, because you tend to believe that it's your fault, that you did it wrong and that, in the end, you're the only one responsible for the situation.
While being ghosted can make you question your own behavior, there's really no need to feel too guilty about it. Especially if you're in the early stages of a relationship. The refusal to communicate doesn't come from you. And the person in question surely has his or her own reasons for preferring to flee. Not knowing why certainly provokes a feeling of frustration, but you have to accept it.
If you're feeling deeply hurt by this sudden, unexplained rejection, take the opportunity to look at your own journey and what makes abandonment unbearable for you.
4- Get some distance and get back to your life
When you're a victim of ghosting, it can have a profound effect on you in the days that follow. To the point of sinking into sadness and isolation.
Not only do you need to distance yourself and not try to contact the person at all costs - you know that if they ghost you, it's because they don't want to answer for the situation - but you also need to get back to your everyday life as quickly as possible. By refocusing on work, leisure activities, outings with loved ones, etc. In short, avoid going round in circles at home and dwelling on your frustration.
5- Believe in your future relationships
There's no need to question everything. You've been ghosted, all right, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen again and again. As we said, the person has his or her own reasons (sudden fear of commitment, lack of confidence in the other person, etc.).
This episode is often difficult to accept and to digest, but it in no way calls into question your ability to enjoy a beautiful love relationship in the future. Take the time to recover, to take stock, to live your everyday life, and when the opportunity arises, don't hesitate for a moment to believe in your chances of seducing someone for who you are.